The "YOU should NOT start a web directory" List

Members of DP have written:
After checking out some posts on DP and seeing this post, http://forums.digitalpoint.com/showthread.php?t=701162, I decided to write a short list.

I don't mean for it to be completely hateful, and many of you boys and girls know the deal, but I thought it would be fun, so here goes:

Every statement on this list should be followed by...YOU should NOT start a web directory.

1. If you bought a dropped domain name just because it had pagerank, and now you don't know how to recover the money you wasted...
2. If your directory domain name is related to another industry, for example "encephalopathy-mesothelioma.info"...
3. If you think it would be cool to clean up your site by removing template sponsor/developer credits...
4. If you have ever asked the question "Where can I find a category dump?"...
5. If you already calculated how much it will cost to list the directory for sale at SitePoint...
6. If the statement "New High PR Directory" makes sense to you...
7. If you use framesets to spread your PR over every page of the directory...
8. If you have ever asked the question "How can I bulk approve submissions?"...
9. If you use the Pagerank Prediction tool religiously every hour, on the hour...
10. If you take an existing directory name and just add a hyphen, then steal the logo and try to pass it off as the original. for example "emporium-directory.dumb"...
11. If you have ever inquired about how to run 20 directories using one database ...
12. If you think adsense is going to bring you enough money to make it worth your while ...
13. If after reading 13 you are going to place adsense both in a category format across the top half of the page or beside anywhere you hope someone will misclick ...
14. If you are going to only accept sites with a certain PR ...
15. If you are only going to accept payment by cheque ...
16. If you think categories get in the way of ad placements ...
17. If you are going to delete the database on purpose after changing to a paid directory ...
18. If you are going to accept all submitted descriptions without editing ...
19. If you think directory is spelled directori ...
20. If you think its easy ...
21. If you have ever asked the question "How can I set my script to auto approve submissions?"...
22. If you fail to make any money you plan on coming to this forum to troll....
23. If you think adding content is adding a word cloud page to your directory....
24. If you think owning a directory will get you hot chicks...
25. If you think selling cheap links in dropped domain directory and then selling off the directory is a wise decision.
26. If you think ripping off some good directory's template will get some submissions to your directory.
27. If you have ever thought to submit 300 websites to a list of directories.
28) If you give top bids in exchange or free
29) If you plan to promote your directories exclusively to other directory owners.
30) If you think that your success depends on "senior" directory owners
31) If you think that a custom template is the number one plus of your directory
32) if you will brag about the mods you installed not the content of your directory
33) if you think you're cool as you have PR4
34) if you're confused as to why people submit to PR0 directories
35) if you think a bid directory is going to make you rich
36) if you are scared of google
37. Can i remove footer links from the free directory templates.
38. If you have more homepage links than actual listings in the directory. LOL
39. If you have ripped off the categories from another DP member and don't understand that archive.org can prove your "He stole it from me" line wrong.
45. If you create 100 empty categories rather than letting it grow gradually
46. If you won't bother to rework your listings when you do add new categories
47. If you won't bother to check that people have submitted to the right category
48. If you don't love your niche
40. If you have PMed the owner of this forum before reaching 10 posts spamming him with a 2 for 1 introductory special.
41. If you have already started 2 "Why did I get an infraction?" threads and are working on number 3 because the other ones have been locked.
42. If you don't bother getting a design, because your DP signature will get you a PR7 and that is all that matters anyways.
43. If you had to steal your mom's credit card to register the .info domain for the directory.
44. If your approval time depends on when your classes are and how late the public library is open.
49. If you want to become an established Quick Buck Crew member
50. If you don't know proper grammer/english. lol
51. When You have categories that are 100 pages deep that not even christ will ever find let alone SE spiders
52. When the "pending links" reaches 10,000 + and you "only accept" cheap $2 dollar featured
53. When you sell "1000 directory submissions" for the price of a burger and small fries (no drink included)
54. When You sell the emails from your database to another for spamming purposes
55. When You steal others domain names and get .ar .cc .cn extensions and hope they wont catch it
56. When you hit people up on MSN to bump your threads for you.
57. When your homepage counter hasn't changed from "You are the 100,000th visitor" in over a week.
58. When you read Costa Dedes' blog wondering what you could do to be more like him.
59. When you call your insurance company requesting rates to cover you for a potential ban from DP.
60. When you're a dude, but have a chick in your avatar hoping it will get you more submissions.
61. When you "charge" someone to be removed from your directory
62. When DP is your only source of advertising as you wont spend any $$
64. When you push the "snitch button" at google to "try" and eliminate other directory owners
65. When you dont have the "Balls" to leave your name in the red rep you gave another directory owner
66. When everything has to be "Free" otherwise you dont like it or wont use it
67. When hosting the directory becomes to expensive and you start using geocities
68. When you have more then 5-10 directories all using the same IPs and C classes
69. When you redirect PR from another domain into tricking potential submitters
70. When you purchase a domain that has the word "FREE" in it and turn it to All Paid Directory.
71. If you think one person working part-time can build and edit a useful general directory.
72. If you demand good spelling and grammar in submissions, but your submission guidelines are full of typos.
73. If your idea of link bait is posting threads like, "Why does nobody submit to my quality directory"?...
74. If your idea of an advertising campaign is buying as many links on word cloud sites as possible...
75. If your revenue model is, "I could make $20 a month off one directory so If I had 100 I could make nice cash"...
76 If you think the phrases �Established directory� and �Three months old� are synonyms.
77 If your sole mission as a �webmaster� is to gain PR.
78 If you failed 6th grade Art Class due to �lack of creativity and originality�
79 If you make your Captcha impossible to read, because you think it will provide you better spam protection.
80- if you just learned what is a "website" 2 weeks ago.
81- if you think you will make any real profit before you become 2 or 3 years older.
82- if the only link building way that you know is Submitting to other directories
83- if you love a guy called matt cuts.
84- if you don't have a paypal account
85- if you plan to sell "reviews" for $3 or less
86 - If you use the word " quality " directory,
87 - If you just don't get this thread.
88 - If you get the feeling that this thread might be about you.
89 - If your PMs have " Dear Sir" in the subject title.
90 - If every 3rd word on your blog is a link.
91 - If you use the word Quick Buck Crew to make yourself look less like a scammer.
92. If you think you can just buy a directory cuz it's easy to run one (me - ouch).
93. If you 'know' it'll be easy to run one by auto-approving submissions.
94. If you're obsessed with 'third party rating systems.'
95 - if you want a directory because everyone else has them
96 - because you noticed aviva directory does quite well and you want to be as big
97 - because you can get traffic really easily and try make money from that
98 - because you have seen other people sell them for a high price
99 - if you think phpLD is the only script that exists
100 - if you plan on clicking all the "approve link" buttons with your middle mouse button to get through them fast
101 - if you plan on declining porn and pills yet never actually declining them
102. If you want a peaceful life.
103. If you want a social life.
104. If you have any type of life.
105. Because you think theres room for one more general one.
106. If you want to be part of an elite crew.
107. If you think matt cutts is actually out to advise you well on yours.
108. If you believe that one day they will be bigger than search engines.
109. If you honestly believe you can send proper traffic to all your listings.
110. Because you felt like doing something different
111. If you think your script will make a difference.
112. If you look up to other directory owners.
113. If you will begin your question threads with "whats the best"
114. If you think SEO stands for "Sweet Editorial Opinion"
115. If your version of SEO is spamming every thread with your link
116. If You think you will become rich doing this s**t
117. If you think you wont get nightmares from this field of work
118. If you respond with "Great post, Sir" to every post of someone paying you $100 a month to put his high PR link farm into your signature
119. If you think it's an easy way to promote your own sites...
120. If you think MFA = mighty fine article...
121. If you don't know the difference between SEO, CEO, and ee-i-oh...
122. If you think I'll just promote my directory here to make it stand out from all the rubes who advertise in the Solicitations forum...

If anyone wants to continue the list .